Dickie & 'bert

Dickie: Mr. Attorney General do you recall how these eight US attorneys were put on the list to be fired.
'bert: If I may, I'd like to state my condolences for the victims and families of the Virginia Tech tragedy... I'd also like to state with pride the actions of the law enforcement and medical professionals who responded to the tragedy ... Senor Specter...
Dickie: Senator..
'bert: Seno..or..orator Specter... can you repeat the question...
Dickie: Do you recall how these attorneys were put on the list to be fired.
'bert: Ah, si... Senatodoro Specter, there was a project I gave to my chief de staff, Senor Kyle, to evaluate todos US attorneys and provide a summary of recommendations por replacement.
Dickie: A project... and were you involved in the decision-making process...
'bert: Senadoro, as Ive stated publicly... I take full responsibility por los decisions that were made whether they were by me or mi staff...
Dickie: That wasnt my question ... were you involved in the decision...
'bert: Senor Specter ... Ive answered dis question ...
Dickie: I dont believe you have...
'bert: Well please let me answer ...
Libby: Please, can we move this along and let the Attorney General answer ...
Dickie, Yes, Mr. Chairman ... please proceed Mr. Attorney General ...
'bert: Senor Specter ... could you repeat the question?
Dickie: Decision-making?
'bert: Ah, si ... As Ive said Senor Specter, I haven't been involved in the decision-making... Senor Kyle performed extensive research and interviews with senior committee members and passed the recommendations on to me. I then made the final decision.
Dickie: I see my time is up...
Libby: Ms. Feinstein ...
Rove: Thank you Mr. Chairman... Mr. Attorney General, you've stated that US Attorney Lam was fired for immigration prosecutions ... yet, the record indicates she was substantially improving in this area and in fact was a top ten US Atty with nothing but accolades in her file...
'bert: Senora Feinstein ... do you have a question por me?
Rove: Senator ...
'bert: Senatadora Feinstein ... Do you have a question por me?
Rove: Im asking how Carol Lam could be fired based upon her outstanding record and personal service to the Department of Justice ...
'bert: I dunno ... they tole me undocumented chicanos were pouring over di border and she sat in her office painting her nails ... what was i to do?
Rove: and this firing was not directed by Karl Rove in retaliation for the former representative Cunningham prosecution:
'bert: Cunningham? whooos Cunningham?
Rove: Are we to believe you dont know who Former Representative Cunningham is?
'bert: With all respect Senora Feinstein, I oversee 110,000 employees, I cant worry about your branches' employees ...
Rove: Duke Cunningham was prosecuted by your office in Carol Lam's District ...
'bert: El Dukester? Senor Dukester es in trouble? Dickie is this true?
Dickie: Damnit 'bert ... you knew that...
'bert: Mi Dios! El Dukester ... Does this mean no boat trips?
Rove: Geez ... Im wasting time here Mr. Vice President...
Dickie: 'bert ... Dukester is gone ... answer the question ...
'bert: Senora ... had I known the Dukester was being prosecuted I would have fired that beeches ass a long time ago... But since I had no knowledge of the case, I must answer 'NO' ... I dinna fire Senora Lam por el Dukester...
Rove: and Mr. Rove's involvement?
'bert: well Senor Karl ... you tole me who to fire ... how do I answer that?
Rove: sunnofa...
Dickie: Allright ... let's break for lunch...
Libby: I believe I'm the Chairman here now Mr. Specter ... and believe the orders will be mine...
Dickie: OK Scooter ... I will have ham and cheese today ... mustard ...

Labels: Alberto Gonzales Dick Cheney

Dickie: 'bert?...'bert?... Where the hell are you?
'bert: I'm down here ... with Senor Scooter.
Dickie: Arent you supposed to be whoring that internet safety campaign?
'bert: Que? and face the press mano a mano? Donde esta? Underground?
Dickie: mmm...err..mmph! Who else you have down there with you?
'bert: lemmeesee... dere's Senors Scooter, Rove y in the back, Deutch, Admirale Lautenberger,
Senoras Goodling, Meiers Y McDonald...
Dickie: what the... this isnt the Lincoln Bedroom! Send them out...
'bert: so I guess I should tell Senor Rudy his amigo Bernie is no welcome?
Dickie: spend a week doing talk shows ...
'bert: y Senor Tom?
Dickie: Thompson?
'bert: No, cucaracha...
Dickie: Delay again? What does he want?
'bert: He wants to borrow Senor Rove? Said his last few interviews no go so well...
Dickie: He's going to college campuses!?! What the hell can he say wrong?
'bert: He used the "N" word...
Dickie: So ... he can apologize like Imus...
'bert: No, no, no ... the "N" word ... he's on his nazi campaign again...
Dickie: Didnt't he learn anything from Chris Matthews... Karl!
Rove: Mr. Vice President?
Dickie: Tell Delay you will help him for one segment, but were cutting him off after that...
Bang...Bang...Bang...
Dickie: What now?
Ranty: I know youre in there Mr. Attorney General... Now come out and take these subpeonas...
'bert: Senora Pelosi?
Feinstein: We were here first... Will you provide the information or do we need a subpeona?
'bert: Senora Feinstein, por favor, I need more time... Ju see Dickie, I need my own help...
Dickie: Scooter, go outside and disperse that crowd... damn congress is swarming like flies...
Libby: No f'in' way boss... Im here through sentencing, and I will be here through appeal...
Dickie: Karl?! Get out there...
Rove: Me? Think all those subpeonas are just for 'bert? Uh-uh? You go out there...
Dickie: Alright, alright...mmmerrr...mmmm... Get Addy on the line....
Addington: Dah?
Dickie: Addy.... Small problem at the bunker entrance needs to be addressed...
Addington: Dah!
Dickie: Shouldn't be long now...
bum...bum...bum...bum...bum...bummm...
'bert: Senor Addy? Es muy rapido...
Dickie: Listen and learn...
Addington: You are in violation of di Vite House fire occupancy codes. You shall cease undt desist dis illegal congregation undt remove yourselves in an orderly fashion.
Ranty: You cant ask us to leave!!! We are serving subpeonas ... BUZZZZZZZZ ... Ouch!
Addington: If you continue this illegal congregation, we shall be required to use force...
Feinstein: Was that a taser?
Leahy: They hurt a lot more than fire hoses... Im outta here...
Addington: Gentleman ... Commence firing above der crowd... Colonel ... Send your taser squads forward and detain resistors. Mr. Vice President ....
Dickie: Yes, Addy ...
Addington: The corridor has been cleared. I will need presidential authorization to hold the detainees indefinitely...
Dickie: Mmmmph.... better release the detainees outside...
Addington: Shall they be "interviewed" first?
Dickie: mmmerr...mmm... no... that wont be necessary...
Addington: berry disappointing...

posted by flippityflopitty  # 12:45 PM 1 comments