Dickie & 'bert

'bert: Senor Dickie ... Senor Dickie...

Dickie: mmmm ... what do you have for me today 'bert ...

'bert: issa good noose-bad noose, Senor Dickie... the good noose es I tendered my resignation with El Presidente y leek-ed it ju Senor Blitzer. The bad noose es Senor Jorge accepted it. Whassup with dat?

Dickie: Mmmmph...err.. didnt see that one coming ... Karl? Did you advise the president on staff resignations?

Rove: Well ... before I could explain why we were presenting resignations - he accepted mine and asked me to clear out my desk. He went as far as having secret service escort me out of the White House.

Dickie: Scooter... get me the president...

Libby: Its going straight to voicemail ...

Dickie: Voicemail? The president doesnt use voicemail! Karl ... get a call into Andy and see what the fudge is going on ...

Rove: Andy resigned last year, Dickie ... Josh Bolten is in charge now.

Dickie: Bolton? That handle-bar-moustached boob couldnt manage the UN ... He's got the staff?

Rove: Josh Bowl-"ten" not bowl-"ton". You feeling OK Dickie ... you seem a bit scatter-brained.

Dickie: mmmmph... Just a little bunker-fever... what was I thinking?! Addie! Get in here!

Addington: Yes mein Dickie ole chum?

Dickie: Get yer ass over to the White House and find out who is behind the president and get back to me asap.

Addington: Undt if they resist?

Dickie: Just find out the "WHO" and then we will deal with the response ... OK?

Addington: Dah! [shoe heels clicking]

Dickie: 'bert... when is your resignation effective?

'bert: The 17th?

Dickie: That's fine we still have time... Karl?

Rove: Effective tomorrow ...

Dickie: Sh*t! Less time than I thought ... Scooter ... who do we still have at Homeland?

Libby: We're down to Chertoff, Jamison and Allen...

Dickie: Chertoff .... mmmph ... like that helps ... Jamison ... Jamison .... he's the railroad guy ... wont do ... Allen ... mmmerrr... old dog ... spook ... and he's in charge of intel ... mmmph ... he's our boy Scooter ... Have him work up a plan for a "disaster drill" ... we will need the president and chief of staff "incapacitated" during the exercise... What the hell happened to Addie!

Scooter: Im patching Addington through now...

Addington: Herr Dickie?

Dickie: Addie ... mmmerrph ... what do you have for me....

Addington: A moment Herr Dickie ... take ze electrodes and place one on ze tung and der other on the scrotum sack like zo. Herr Dickie ... I am preparing Herr Bolten for his interview and will have the intelligence for you shortly {BZZZZZZZZZ - AGGHHHGHHGGHH!}

Dickie: Addie ... what are you doing? Thats the Chief of Staff for christ's sake....

Addington: Undt we need the information ... who would know better .... Herr Bolton ... I grow impatient ... who made the decisions to accept resignations from Herr Scooter and Herr Turd Blossom? {BZZZZZZZZZZ - AgHAhaggggagaggahagggggghhhh!

Bolten: awright ...awright ... it was me ... just please stop....

Dickie: Addie ... we know it was Bolten ...mmmpherg... what more could ......

Addington: Oh ... Herr Bolten .... I am berry disappointed ... you see, I dont believe you ... you barely lasted five minutes... I think you need a break ... maybe some cool refreshing water?

Bolten: Its true.... its all true... I advised the president that if he really wanted me to run the staff we needed to get rid of the personnel that was dragging him down ...

Addington: I see... now would you like that water?

Bolten: please ...

Addington: Bruno ... the water board ... strap Herr Bolten down and place the cowel over his head.

Bolten: No.... no.... arglegurglegurgle....

Addington: Herr Dickie ... I am quite busy ... I will report back later ... [shoe heels clicking]

'bert: Issa good thin' he not torture Senor Bolten or we could be in trouble...